Tuesday, August 29, 2006

gingeriffic giuseppe joe

I have a new friend and he doesn't even make me sneeze much! Does that make it meant to be? Are Giuseppe Joe and I fated to love and adore eachother? I think so. I wish he didn't want to sleep on my face all the time but this is a minor drawback in the game of unconditional love that we've embarked on.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

democracy reaches new golden heights

Blonde lady of sequin dress fame strikes again! Would you vote for this golden woman? It's election time at Law School and i was really thrilled in crim class when this young lady walked in and announced that she wanted to give me MORE! It begs the question of course, how can she give me MORE when she has already given me so many hours of sniggering entertainment merely by donning a golden sequinned dress. But it appears that if i would just vote for her for president she would do her very best to deliver MORE to me. no real indication of MORE what, but i'm not concerned about that at all. We're talking about a very hard working young woman, committing countless hours to organise that most excellent institution of the LSS PTN. being the 'Pleasant Thursday Night' where, upon display of your LSS key ring and payment of only $10 you can drink truck-loads of beer or sparkling wine and participate in heterosexual mating rituals. Do you think she could arrange a homo equivalent for me? I mean, if she gave a damn about equality she would concerned that good middleclass homosexuals are being excluded from this opportunity to 'network' with other likeminded and upwardly mobile young things. shame golden woman. I am so not going to vote for her. ps. do you think her long golden locks are tickling her breasts!?

Monday, August 14, 2006


i went to wilson's prom and got a new boyfriend, beach freddy.

Monday, August 07, 2006

tear-shaped pieces of me

i didn't go to school today so i can't tell you what the first ladies of law are wearing on this Monday. ballet-style flats i imagine though. so cute but casual. Perhaps a long cardigan tied at the waist in a soft pale grey. so chic. The reason i didn't go to school is because i woke in some kind of malaise and then my phone rang and my mood found reason. and now all the world looks so different, seen through the little salty water smudges on my glasses. and now i am going to do washing, ring IKEA and make them send me the missing pieces for my shelves, take down photographs and change my passwords.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

missives from the reserve section

so i'm back at school and i reckon, apart from short interludes to keep y'all up to date with the ranch's pack of chickens, perhaps i'm going to turn this into stories from the front line: one boyish little lady taking on the law school. So let me set the scene for you. Every day of my life that i spend at law school I go to the toilet and frighten small blonde and rexy law ladies who stare at me with frightened eyes. Behind the lashings of mascara i see something that looks frighteningly like mental cognition. It goes something like this, 'ohmigod. that's totally a man in the lay-dees! oh, that's just rude. no wait... *click click click. some cogs turn slowly* heey, that's not a man. ohmigod, what the fuck is that chick wearing. ew. she totally needs to get some make-up and tuck some tight jeans into brown leather prada knee-high boots and carry a darling little chanel bag. and wear a pretty top with a little belt around her waist. oh, she could look so much cuter then. yeah *agrees with self in head* that would be heaps better and i wouldn't think she was a man in the lay-dees then either. oh hey, thinking of looking totally cute. god, i still can barely believe how fucking cute i looked when i wore that sequined dress to the law ball. Check it out!

Of course, it's not that my fellow law ladies only think about how it's practically illegal for them to look that hot. No, we have been grappling with some pretty serious issues this last week. In fact, I haven't thought this much about abusive men and battered women's syndrome since i was 16 and we left my stepfather to live in a women's shelter for three months. Nor have I been this close to actual violence myself for some time. Of course if i had throttled the woman behind me in crim the other day, that would have been more ordinary assault than domestic violence. Could i plead insanity? 'Sorry, your honour, i was driven insane by the mere random recollection of that sequinned dress in the law ball photographs.'