am i not revolutionary enough? (thanks Kasey)

Today i checked the email address that I rarely check and sitting quietly, nestled like a little rotten egg amongst my spam, there was an email from afar. From a name i didn't want to see, addressing me as 'friends, lovers etc'.

I assume that I am 'etc'. In fact, being 'etc' makes me laugh like a crazy person. I wonder who else and if any one else is also 'etc'? With whom could i possibly share this dubious distinction? Anyway, I wanted to share the moment because i had an uncharacteristically musical response to the tune of:

Am I not revo enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you (presume that you can) see right through me

(fade to nasally whine)

Well, I'm not sure what 'it' is that Kasey is going to try harder but personally, i haven't really gotten into the glass and ceramic dildos and since uti-paranoia/actual infection I'm not sure if 'harder' is really what i can take right now.

But of course, Kasey is right. She should be concerned about whether her (so-called, sometime) friend/s think she is revo enough. Being un-revo is just such a bad look; a leftwing faux pas of mammoth proportions. I mean really, you turned down the path but pulled up a couple of miles short. And all your (so-called, sometime) friend/s can tell and are probably going to tell their housemates.

Run for cover, motherfuckers! This left-wing cred is about to blow. Someone pulled the 'radical love' pin and that shit's about to spew self-righteous, self-serving rantabulous cred-eroding crud all around this joint.

ha. anyway, I'm glad Kasey and I found eachother crawling around in the dusty, battered debris of innocent high hopes and naive stomach-wrenching love and loss. I think she's real pretty.

cooking cooking, nothing by halves

Today has been like some kind of self-sufficiency nut/cooking fiend orgy. I spent the early hours being Mistress Tomato. It was hot work so i ended up topless as I sweated over taming those insubordinate tomatoes to the tune of my stakes. I tried to be stern but it's hard when they insist on looking so cute in their array of shapes and colours, round orange, mini deep red, and yellow pear shaped, not the mention the stripy ones. Then I gathered up the windfall apples and picked a big bag of soft ripe figs.

I was a bit unimaginative with the apples and stewed them to put on my muesli in the mornings. But the figs, i made into jam, which is a spiced(gingery) and delicious. Then, even though it's sweltering today and i really should have gone and sat under a tree with Michael Ingatieff (well, his book actually), I decided today would be a good day to bake sweet treats. I cooked a container of the blackberries from out the back into a semolina cake and grated up a couple of the innumerable zucchinis that were starting to fill the vegie drawer into a moist banana cake. I'm looking forward to taking that one for lunch actually, for when Michael and I really do get down to business.

Reading whole books with which i fundamentally disagree is a new thing for me. I used to try to keep it to journal articles and sometimes i still get confused reading Mr Michael's 'The Lesser Evil' where be basically posits that it's ok for a democracy to temporarily suspend civil and maybe human rights (it's a blurry line) in order to protect the majority from the perils of terrorism. I get confused because Mr Michael doesn't even reference the position that I'm trying to build. He identifies two positions- the civil libertarian, the one who won't tolerate extreme policing/torture/etc because it betrays the very spirit of democracy the govt. purports to protect, then there's the majority, for whom temporary suspension of normal liberties is palatable in the face of genuine and urgent threats to 'our way of life.' This juxtaposition of the ethical stickler versus the realist fails entirely to engage with the possibility that there might be alternative ideological theories and/or ethical codes that object to government tyranny, let alone that most people are not in any kind of position to gauge what genuine 'threat' actually exists.

boring Michael, no wonder I chose to swelter in my kitchen today.