me: hey hot stuff, I have been terribly slack today so I have lots of study still to do... was going to ask you over otherwise but fear now that I will not be fun at all....
lover: hmmm... the not fun-ness of being too slack eh?
me: so why would i bother to message you such a strangely convoluted and ultimately negative statement!? um, i think i was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner anyway and maybe bring your book for when/if i need to read more law...
lover: ah i see...
me: oh, i really am an idiot aren't i!?
lover: no you really are terribly endearing with your negative contradictory urges
what happened to your date...if i may ask?
me: oh i was meant to have gotten back to her to confirm i think... but i didn't and she made other plans.
lover: oh. not playing keen enough eh?.... anyway, i reckon i'm gonna go home and do some cooking.. watch a video... but maybe i'll come over later?
me: mmm. yeah, i also said i'd be home tonight for a phone date with xxxx so I really am being rather silly. but um...
i mean, yes, you would be welcome to come over later but there's the fact of the phone date and i'm not sure when that was for... after soccer some time.
lover: hey you're really sending some clear signals here!
me: i know!!! why am i such a dork? I mean, i'd like to see you and i will probably not be busy studying if you come over later but there's the chance that xxxx will call. is that so complicated?
lover: mmm... no i think i can handle that. so if i go home... do what i need to do, see how i feel and then probably come over.. is that cool? and i mean coming over with the understanding that xxxx may call and i will get to read my book or something... !
me: yes, and that would be a well-negotiated evening i suppose.
lover: yes, a hilariously well negotiated evening.
ok i better do me some work. love ya spunk xxx
me: bye lover xxxxxx
Lover is busy. You may be interrupting.
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2 comments:
i think this is good negotiation.. much better than my current method, which is to just to ignore situations that need negotiating in the hope that they will negotiate themselves. that is how how not to negotiate, by definition, as it is not negotiating.
you see my point? i hope you do because i'm not so sure i do...
look matey, double negatives are one thing but double "how"s? i'm just confused now.
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